A Daddy's Girl

    

Ok, things are about to get really real right now. Yesterday, Dec. 6, marks the 24th anniversary of my father, Earnest Richard McCoy, dying. It was the evening of Dec. 7th, 1989 that my mom came into my bedroom and told me that my dad had been found dead the night before. He was shot by someone who robbed him while he was at the automotive shop that he owned. A mutual friend of his and my mom had come over the night before and told her. I remember feeling so hurt and such sadness as I had never felt before. My mom hugged me so tightly as I cried. I don't think I slept much that night, if at all. I remember wishing that I could go find whomever had done this and kill them the way that they had killed my father.  It's hard to handle such pain as a 10 year old. It's hard to handle such pain as an adult. My mom sent me to school the next day with a note explaining the situation. I recall the teacher taking me into the hall and asking me if I was OK. I wanted soo badly to burst into tears, but with a lump in my throat, I just said that I was OK and went back into the classroom.
     To this day, I miss my dad. My mom and dad were never married so I actually didn't see him a lot. But the time that I did have with him I always cherished. I was a daddy's girl. I loved him so much in spite of not seeing him often as I would have liked. My brother Richard was 5 when all of this happened and unfortunately he didn't get to develop a relationship with our dad. My mom had married our step-dad so this was the father figure he had. But just as I, my brother has never had a close relationship with him so anytime he had questions about our dad I tried to tell him what little I knew.
     Not including my brother Richard, my dad has 3 other children. I have an older brother named Bryan, an older sister named Felicia (they have the same mom), as well as a younger brother named Earnest. It's only with Bryan that I have ever had any kind of relationship with. After not being in touch with Bryan since I was about 13, I did some searching and finally located him last year and we have been in touch ever since. He had moved from Kansas City and now resides in Delaware.
     My brother Bryan has been my only link to our dad's side of the family, the McCoy's. My hope and prayer is that through him I can connect with them and get to know them. For the longest time I've desired a more holistic since of who I am. My whole life I've really only known my moms side of the family. To meet them would put me on the path to knowing more about who I am and where I come from. Some might ask, after all this time, why not just leave well enough alone? Why open that door? You might not like what's behind it. Well, good or bad, the McCoy family is part of who I am. And most importantly, it gets me closer to fulfilling my obligation to my ancestors to do their ordinance work.
    Those who took my dads life did't realize the eternal consequences of their actions. The chain that linked me to my dads family was broken, and it would be many years before that connection would be re-established. Children had lost their dad, a wife had lost her husband, and those McCoy's who came before would have their opportunity to receive the Gospel delayed.
   So now, at 34, I find myself attempting to build that bridge between myself and the McCoys. For those still living, it may be awkward but that's ok. I don't even know how many of them are aware of my brother and my existence, so to some it may be a surprise. But, for my own sense of self, its important that I do what I can to connect with my family.
    To all the daddy's girls, keep telling your dad's you love them. If you have a good father, show him you appreciate all that he does, for you never know when he may be gone. Love you DAD.